I Am Sorry, Pa!

I feel so miserable. Those people I cherish most left me. I still have my sisters and my friends, but I feel empty after all the sacrifices I did for my former partner. Also, because of this forbidden relationship, my father finally loses his patience and decided to banish me. He doesn’t want to see me anymore. This is what makes me miserable. I can’t bear that my beloved father gave up on me.

We often fight because of my wrong doings and his disappointments to me. Those misunderstanding happened to be mended as time goes by. But this time, I really felt his anger. I don’t know what to do now. If going away would make him happy, I’ll do it then. But I’ll make sure I will return to ask for his forgiveness. I love my family so much even though we have certain issues. I love them so much.

I hope my parents will forgive me for going away. Thank you for those people who understand and listened to me. I don’t mean to hurt my family. I always intend to help them like what I usually do to other people. It’s just that circumstances forced me to do things that they do not understand. If my father will happen to read this, Pa, I am very sorry. I ask for your forgiveness. I hope time will come that you can forgive me. I love you so much.

A Child in ME

Hi everyone...How are you doing? I hope everything is well. Today, I have nothing special to write. I just want to share something about myself which I've heard that it is common to other people. Some people say that there is always a part of our personality where all our childish wishes and practices lies. And i think this is applicable to me.

For sure some of you will say that I am still young at the age of 22, but you will be surprised how matured my mind works. However, there are instances that the child in me lingers. Here are some of the behaviors that can also be seen to children.

First, whenever I boredom strikes me, I'll start making fun to other people just like what a little tyke usually do. I play jokes and even tickle them. I won't stop till I feel satisfied or tired.

Then, whenever I see sweets like candies, chocolates, ice cream, and cotton candies, I will definitely buy some for me without any hesitation. Just like any other kids, I have sweet tooth.

And just like any other kids, I would love to have someone to hug me tight when I am about to go to sleep until I start snoring. (LOL)

These things are non-sense for some people but there's no harm if you recognize some of your behaviors, right?

How about you, don you have anything that you can consider childish in a nice way? Share it...

Expectations: How do you deal with it?

Hi there everyone! It's been quite a while since the last time I wrote my last entry. I hope this won't disappoint you guys. There have been lots of things going on to my life and I have many splendid things to share that would somehow provoke you to share your ideas.

Let's start on the word EXPECTATION. How do you guys deal with this matter? What do you do when you manage to meet your expectations? People usually celebrate, right?

But what if you got disappointed because you fail to achieve your or other people's expectation, what do you usually do? Cry? Scream? Remain Silent?

Recently, I happened to see one of William Shakespeare's quote saying that "Expectation is the root of all heartache." Yes, I quite agree on this famous poet's idea. We, as human, usually establish expectation. Most of the time, we expect good things to happen. However, if failure takes place, that is the time people will feel heartache. This is the common cycle we always encounter. A cycle that helps a person mold himself in terms of his personality, social life, mindset, and judgement towards things. Mainly, this depicts a person's life.

Even me, I always deal with this particular cycle. A cycle that sometimes create happiness and heartaches. I hope these expectations won't give a long time disappointment to me, because honestly speaking, I don't know how am I suppose to handle those disappointments.

You, how do you handle things based on your EXPECTATIONS?

GHOST of Your Past Starts to Get Inside of YOU

Hi readers, (if I still have one....hehe)

It's been quite a while since the last time I post my last entry here. I believe that was Mother's day of this year, May 8. Lot of things happened to me in that span of time. Struggles, adventure, drama, and more. Going through all of these is a hard thing to do...yet, so fulfilling. I've learned things that I only knew because I heard it from some people, read it from the book, or saw it on TV. But this time, it is my turn to go with these things. Now, one thing I want to share is the most recent I had in my relationship to my RECENT EX-parter. 

Okay, let me introduce this guy, in order for you to understand why I am sharing this experience. Meet JED, he is a male bisexual who longs for a partner who will love and care for him. JED is among of my "clanmates" in our province. JED is sweet, cute and caring. Though, there are instances that he can't absorb of what I am trying to explain yet he keeps on saying, "I understand what you are trying to say."

JED is seeking for love and loyalty. Knowing JED, he had numerous past relationships that really made him to become doubtful towards his partner. He doesn't even trust his partner fully because of  his experiences in the past. Because of his, our relationship starts to fall apart. We broke up because of failing to fulfill my promise without giving me the chance to make up. Take note, it is my first time to commit such act.

In JED's case, he is among of those people who are afraid to be left alone and be hurt. They fear these things and treat it as their GHOST. They dislike people who turns them down for the first time, leaving them the feeling of being the so aggravated by the offender, regardless if the reason is very simple or not.

If these people keeps on experiencing this things, they become so immune with the cycle and start to become one of those people who turned them down. Victims of this MONSTER (cycle) becomes part of it.

Are you afraid to face the same ghost like what JED is afraid of? Are you aware that you might be one of those who turn other people as part of this cycle? Or if you are the victim, do you think you are starting to become one of them? THINK....

NOTE:

This entry was made, not to expose of my personal hatred to what happened between  me and JED. The purpose of this entry is to enlighten other people and share what I have observed. THANKS.

-KoMhico