A Warrior's Tear

An excerpt from the "A Warrior is a Child" By Gary Valenciano

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
I'm strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

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Hi Everyone!

It's been a long time since I made my last post. Well, here I am again. Starting to get back on track and shar my thoughts and all.

Well, another year has gone after my last post. So, there'd been a lot of things happened to me. As a start, I want to share something that has been affecting me in the past few days. One of my weaknesses, knowing and seeing my love ones suffering from pain, sickness and other problems.

Two of my beloved relatives were suffering from 2 different conditions. First was my mom who had her ovaries removed to save her from the risks of having Mayoma. Next is my Uncle (my mom's only brother), who was rushed to the hospital due to defecating blood for 5 days, which is a damn serious condition. I am very much bothered by these instances. Silently, I am praying for both of them and wanting to help them, especially my uncle.

The only thing that hinders me from doing this is my inability to provide financial support. It kills me to think that I am earning money, but it's not enough to help them. I don't know where to turn to and I really want to cry.

People usually say to me that I am a good provider to my parents as well as to my sibling, but I don't feel like it. They may say I am tough, but deep inside I am so weak, especially when I can't give anything to help my love ones.

Help me, God! Enlighten me.

I Am Sorry, Pa!

I feel so miserable. Those people I cherish most left me. I still have my sisters and my friends, but I feel empty after all the sacrifices I did for my former partner. Also, because of this forbidden relationship, my father finally loses his patience and decided to banish me. He doesn’t want to see me anymore. This is what makes me miserable. I can’t bear that my beloved father gave up on me.

We often fight because of my wrong doings and his disappointments to me. Those misunderstanding happened to be mended as time goes by. But this time, I really felt his anger. I don’t know what to do now. If going away would make him happy, I’ll do it then. But I’ll make sure I will return to ask for his forgiveness. I love my family so much even though we have certain issues. I love them so much.

I hope my parents will forgive me for going away. Thank you for those people who understand and listened to me. I don’t mean to hurt my family. I always intend to help them like what I usually do to other people. It’s just that circumstances forced me to do things that they do not understand. If my father will happen to read this, Pa, I am very sorry. I ask for your forgiveness. I hope time will come that you can forgive me. I love you so much.

A Child in ME

Hi everyone...How are you doing? I hope everything is well. Today, I have nothing special to write. I just want to share something about myself which I've heard that it is common to other people. Some people say that there is always a part of our personality where all our childish wishes and practices lies. And i think this is applicable to me.

For sure some of you will say that I am still young at the age of 22, but you will be surprised how matured my mind works. However, there are instances that the child in me lingers. Here are some of the behaviors that can also be seen to children.

First, whenever I boredom strikes me, I'll start making fun to other people just like what a little tyke usually do. I play jokes and even tickle them. I won't stop till I feel satisfied or tired.

Then, whenever I see sweets like candies, chocolates, ice cream, and cotton candies, I will definitely buy some for me without any hesitation. Just like any other kids, I have sweet tooth.

And just like any other kids, I would love to have someone to hug me tight when I am about to go to sleep until I start snoring. (LOL)

These things are non-sense for some people but there's no harm if you recognize some of your behaviors, right?

How about you, don you have anything that you can consider childish in a nice way? Share it...

Expectations: How do you deal with it?

Hi there everyone! It's been quite a while since the last time I wrote my last entry. I hope this won't disappoint you guys. There have been lots of things going on to my life and I have many splendid things to share that would somehow provoke you to share your ideas.

Let's start on the word EXPECTATION. How do you guys deal with this matter? What do you do when you manage to meet your expectations? People usually celebrate, right?

But what if you got disappointed because you fail to achieve your or other people's expectation, what do you usually do? Cry? Scream? Remain Silent?

Recently, I happened to see one of William Shakespeare's quote saying that "Expectation is the root of all heartache." Yes, I quite agree on this famous poet's idea. We, as human, usually establish expectation. Most of the time, we expect good things to happen. However, if failure takes place, that is the time people will feel heartache. This is the common cycle we always encounter. A cycle that helps a person mold himself in terms of his personality, social life, mindset, and judgement towards things. Mainly, this depicts a person's life.

Even me, I always deal with this particular cycle. A cycle that sometimes create happiness and heartaches. I hope these expectations won't give a long time disappointment to me, because honestly speaking, I don't know how am I suppose to handle those disappointments.

You, how do you handle things based on your EXPECTATIONS?